Another day with less pain ... how grateful I am. My Fred left this morning for Ohio. He will spend 3 days visiting with his brother and I'm grateful that I'm well enough that he could go. He so needs this time away.
I've enjoyed this day ... I sat on our front porch for awhile this evening, doing some reading and just resting in the beauty of the day. When you're in pain, it distorts everything and it was difficult to see beauty in anything, or so it seemed. I did some laundry and went to my son's home later to celebrate his youngest daughter's birthday. Our 'baby' granddaughter is 9 yrs old today. Where has time gone?
I read earlier that Joni Eareckson Tada has breast cancer and will have surgery this Monday, June 28. To read more about this, go to her web site: www.joniandfriends.org. She is an amazing woman and her health issues make mine pale in comparison. She gives hope and inspiration to everyone. May this cancer be contained and her recovery swift.
I am finding myself asking God how does He want me to pray. Does that sound childish? Shouldn't I, after all these years, know how to pray? You might think so, but going through this episode has changed my outlook on many things. Prayer being one of them. A once-for-all prayer just doesn't get it. I need to bring specific people / needs / situations before Him and then wait until He allows me to see what is the best way to pray, and then ... pray! It's no longer a "God please bless ...." It's God, what is it You're wishing to do in the life of this person? How do I help in prayer? Show me Lord. I want my prayers to mean something for eternity and that will take some work.
I shall go for now and get ready for bed. Thank you so much for being with me through this experience. Thank you so much for praying for me and sharing words of encouragement. They mean much to me.
Blessings to you all. I love you.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Thursday
Another day with less pain ... thank You Father! I saw lung dr and after testing learned my oxygen levels are down (I kinda knew that), plus I have a lung infection and will begin a 10-day course of antibiotics tomorrow. It was too late in the day to start it today. With other med's I'm taking I have to balance all of them out and an antibiotic will work best at lunch time.
My poor husband just shook his head when I came out of the doctor's office and told him what was going on. Since Christmas Day it's been one thing after another with me. I admire his patience and I am grateful he loves me. He leaves tomorrow for a 3-day visit with his brother in Ohio. He needs this time away and I'm grateful I feel well enough for him to go. Our son & his family live just down the street from us so should I need anything they are close. I want him to get away and hopefully not overly think about me or his Mom while he's gone.
Would you please pray for man named Greg? He's late 40's in age and it was learned today that he has renal cell carcinoma cells in his lungs. He had kidney cancer last year and it was thought treatment had cleared it out, but sadly it didn't. There is nothing they can do as chemotherapy nor radiation can help this type of cancer. He is a Christian but he and his family are taking this very hard. His parents attend our church and I cannot imagine what they are going through. The same for his wife and children.
Thank you dear ones, for being with me thru my health issues. I deeply appreciate it. I am going to bed now.
May our Lord bless each of you and may all your needs be met in Him.
I love you all.
My poor husband just shook his head when I came out of the doctor's office and told him what was going on. Since Christmas Day it's been one thing after another with me. I admire his patience and I am grateful he loves me. He leaves tomorrow for a 3-day visit with his brother in Ohio. He needs this time away and I'm grateful I feel well enough for him to go. Our son & his family live just down the street from us so should I need anything they are close. I want him to get away and hopefully not overly think about me or his Mom while he's gone.
Would you please pray for man named Greg? He's late 40's in age and it was learned today that he has renal cell carcinoma cells in his lungs. He had kidney cancer last year and it was thought treatment had cleared it out, but sadly it didn't. There is nothing they can do as chemotherapy nor radiation can help this type of cancer. He is a Christian but he and his family are taking this very hard. His parents attend our church and I cannot imagine what they are going through. The same for his wife and children.
Thank you dear ones, for being with me thru my health issues. I deeply appreciate it. I am going to bed now.
May our Lord bless each of you and may all your needs be met in Him.
I love you all.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Wednesday
Praise be to our God, maker of heaven and earth! He alone is worthy of our praise!
I am so thankful to let you know that this has been a day of lessened pain. The combination of Lyrica & lowered doses of pain medication seem to be working in my favor. Praise be to God!!! The pain isn't completely gone, but it's better ... I was able to once again go downstairs & do a load of laundry ... giving thanks all the while ... I once again helped clean the kitchen after dinner ... thanking God for a husband who cooks and for the ability and the energy and the desire to WANT to help. I was actually hungry and my Fred noticed and commented on it.
Pat has shared with me about her husband's dealing with neuropathy and let me know that he too takes Lyrica. That was a blessing to know as I am overly cautious about new medications.
What I am asking God is to not let me forget what I'm learning through this time of pain.
What am I learning? That He is trustworthy beyond our ability to understand. That He is patient beyond comprehension. That He desires only our good and sometimes that involves walking through dark, hard, fiery places. That He truly IS the Potter and I am the clay ... He can do with me as He pleases and I dare not whisper a complaint. That His children are His forever ... nothing will take us from His hand. That His people are a blessing and we are here to serve and encourage and strengthen one another ... never tear down or hurt or cause harm of any sort. That I am loved.
This walk of ours isn't an easy one, but it is one that's worth the walk. When we all reach Home we will have so many stories to share won't we? Once Home, I will meet some of you for the first time (other than blogs & facebook that is). I will renew friendships with saints who have already reached Home. (Jean Vallis comes to mind...so does Mary Allen & Virginia Mobley). I will see my Dad and my sister Janice. Oh we have so much to look forward to!
I shall go for now & get ready for bed. I'm still resting a lot and going to bed early.
Thank you dear ones ... thank you for praying for me ... for thinking of me .. for remembering me during your days. I love you all!
I am so thankful to let you know that this has been a day of lessened pain. The combination of Lyrica & lowered doses of pain medication seem to be working in my favor. Praise be to God!!! The pain isn't completely gone, but it's better ... I was able to once again go downstairs & do a load of laundry ... giving thanks all the while ... I once again helped clean the kitchen after dinner ... thanking God for a husband who cooks and for the ability and the energy and the desire to WANT to help. I was actually hungry and my Fred noticed and commented on it.
Pat has shared with me about her husband's dealing with neuropathy and let me know that he too takes Lyrica. That was a blessing to know as I am overly cautious about new medications.
What I am asking God is to not let me forget what I'm learning through this time of pain.
What am I learning? That He is trustworthy beyond our ability to understand. That He is patient beyond comprehension. That He desires only our good and sometimes that involves walking through dark, hard, fiery places. That He truly IS the Potter and I am the clay ... He can do with me as He pleases and I dare not whisper a complaint. That His children are His forever ... nothing will take us from His hand. That His people are a blessing and we are here to serve and encourage and strengthen one another ... never tear down or hurt or cause harm of any sort. That I am loved.
This walk of ours isn't an easy one, but it is one that's worth the walk. When we all reach Home we will have so many stories to share won't we? Once Home, I will meet some of you for the first time (other than blogs & facebook that is). I will renew friendships with saints who have already reached Home. (Jean Vallis comes to mind...so does Mary Allen & Virginia Mobley). I will see my Dad and my sister Janice. Oh we have so much to look forward to!
I shall go for now & get ready for bed. I'm still resting a lot and going to bed early.
Thank you dear ones ... thank you for praying for me ... for thinking of me .. for remembering me during your days. I love you all!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Monday
Another day this side of heaven.
Clyde took me for bloodwork this morning, the doctor ordered an oncology profile along with my usual CBC. That made me stop and give some serious thought to what's happening in this body of mine. Please, for those of you who know my Mom, please don't say anything. She has enough to deal with. Should something come from this additional bloodwork, then I'll talk with her.
I realize, we all do, that this life will end one day but with all I'm dealing with it makes me wonder if my time is closer than I might think. It could be, only God knows. While I wouldn't want to leave those I love, I am beginning to want my desire to be in God's will greater than staying here. Does that make sense?
Yesterday was a good day ... I was able to rest and dealt with pain on a good basis if that makes sense. Today is different ... more pain but dealing with it is easier. My appetite is improving ... thank You Lord and thank you all for praying for these answers to prayer. For some relief. For words of encouragement from folks who care and from those who deal with neuropathy also.
I'm learning to let go ... to open my clinched little hands and let go ... of all that can hinder and harm my walk with Christ. My fears, insecurities, doubts, hurts, and even the pain .... let it go and let the Lord truly be Lord of my life. I've said that He is ... believed that He is, but this episode of daily pain has shown me that to a large extent it's been words, not relationship. I've tried to be the good Christian and haven't wanted anyone to see the real me...the one God sees and loves in spite of me. I wanted to look good ... to have people think well of me and those aren't inherently wrong. Our reason for wanting them can be.
I'm learning that I want people to see Christ in me and that perhaps this pain is part of the peeling-off process to get there. It hurts like heck, and it burns like fire, but if this will make me more like our Lord, so be it. I've finally come to that place ... so be it.
Earlier today I was remembering when I was in the coma in 1979. God graciously brought me from darkness to light way back then. Gave me back my life when doctors said it was over, and then gave me new life in Christ. Today I saw that He has taken me from light into the darkness of pain so that He can continue the work He began in me. So be it Lord. So be it. Amen and amen. Your will be done.
I thank you all ... from the bottom of this sin-soaked heart, I thank you for caring for me ... for praying ... for your words of encouragement and hope. You cannot know what they have meant and what they mean to me when I read them.
May our Lord richly bless you and may all your needs be met in Him. I shall, Lord willing, write more later.
My love to you all.
Clyde took me for bloodwork this morning, the doctor ordered an oncology profile along with my usual CBC. That made me stop and give some serious thought to what's happening in this body of mine. Please, for those of you who know my Mom, please don't say anything. She has enough to deal with. Should something come from this additional bloodwork, then I'll talk with her.
I realize, we all do, that this life will end one day but with all I'm dealing with it makes me wonder if my time is closer than I might think. It could be, only God knows. While I wouldn't want to leave those I love, I am beginning to want my desire to be in God's will greater than staying here. Does that make sense?
Yesterday was a good day ... I was able to rest and dealt with pain on a good basis if that makes sense. Today is different ... more pain but dealing with it is easier. My appetite is improving ... thank You Lord and thank you all for praying for these answers to prayer. For some relief. For words of encouragement from folks who care and from those who deal with neuropathy also.
I'm learning to let go ... to open my clinched little hands and let go ... of all that can hinder and harm my walk with Christ. My fears, insecurities, doubts, hurts, and even the pain .... let it go and let the Lord truly be Lord of my life. I've said that He is ... believed that He is, but this episode of daily pain has shown me that to a large extent it's been words, not relationship. I've tried to be the good Christian and haven't wanted anyone to see the real me...the one God sees and loves in spite of me. I wanted to look good ... to have people think well of me and those aren't inherently wrong. Our reason for wanting them can be.
I'm learning that I want people to see Christ in me and that perhaps this pain is part of the peeling-off process to get there. It hurts like heck, and it burns like fire, but if this will make me more like our Lord, so be it. I've finally come to that place ... so be it.
Earlier today I was remembering when I was in the coma in 1979. God graciously brought me from darkness to light way back then. Gave me back my life when doctors said it was over, and then gave me new life in Christ. Today I saw that He has taken me from light into the darkness of pain so that He can continue the work He began in me. So be it Lord. So be it. Amen and amen. Your will be done.
I thank you all ... from the bottom of this sin-soaked heart, I thank you for caring for me ... for praying ... for your words of encouragement and hope. You cannot know what they have meant and what they mean to me when I read them.
May our Lord richly bless you and may all your needs be met in Him. I shall, Lord willing, write more later.
My love to you all.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Saturday night
J. C. Ryle:
“There is nothing which shows our ignorance so much as our impatience under trouble. We forget that every cross is a message from God, and intended to do us good in the end. Trials are intended to make us think—to wean us from the world—to send us to the Bible—to drive us to our knees.” “Man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD” (Deuteronomy 8:3).
Oh, how I needed to read this~ may it bless you as well.
Feeling a tad bit better this evening, praise the name of our good Lord!
“There is nothing which shows our ignorance so much as our impatience under trouble. We forget that every cross is a message from God, and intended to do us good in the end. Trials are intended to make us think—to wean us from the world—to send us to the Bible—to drive us to our knees.” “Man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD” (Deuteronomy 8:3).
Oh, how I needed to read this~ may it bless you as well.
Feeling a tad bit better this evening, praise the name of our good Lord!
Saturday
Yesterday was a really bad day pain-wise. I keep asking myself, how do people live with this? When does relief come? What if it doesn't come?
My thoughts are scattered and I do my best to keep them in check, but when you're medicated and in pain, that's difficult to do. Lord help me, please!
My Fred bought me Ensure yesterday so I can supplement my meals with that. I know I have to eat in order to be well, but my appetite is pitifully low.
I began taking Lyrica yesterday afternoon, will take it twice daily now to see if it helps this nerve pain. Has anyone out there taken it? Do you know of anyone who did? Did it help?
Never, ever, have I been in a place like this. I would rather go Home than have to live like this. Not that I would hurt myself, but I find that Heaven looks better and better compared with what we deal with here. Perhaps that's been part of my problem ... too comfortable here ... not looking for His return ... not desiring Him more than life itself. God forgive me.
Thank you for praying for me .... I love you all.
My thoughts are scattered and I do my best to keep them in check, but when you're medicated and in pain, that's difficult to do. Lord help me, please!
My Fred bought me Ensure yesterday so I can supplement my meals with that. I know I have to eat in order to be well, but my appetite is pitifully low.
I began taking Lyrica yesterday afternoon, will take it twice daily now to see if it helps this nerve pain. Has anyone out there taken it? Do you know of anyone who did? Did it help?
Never, ever, have I been in a place like this. I would rather go Home than have to live like this. Not that I would hurt myself, but I find that Heaven looks better and better compared with what we deal with here. Perhaps that's been part of my problem ... too comfortable here ... not looking for His return ... not desiring Him more than life itself. God forgive me.
Thank you for praying for me .... I love you all.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Friday ....
Pain! So much pain! Lord I cry out to You ... please Father, relieve this pain. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. Help me Lord to lean only on You. Clear my thinking. Allow the stomach pain to ease also. Give me an appetite and help me keep food down.
All I know to do is cry out to You Lord.
Thank You for those who are praying for me.
All I know to do is cry out to You Lord.
Thank You for those who are praying for me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)