Monday, February 27, 2012


It's been a while since I've written about what is going on in my life. Not sure why, maybe I didn't want to bother anyone. Maybe it's wanting to keep things quiet. Or perhaps, it's wishful thinking. Thinking that if I don't admit what's going on, it really isn't happening.

That doesn't work ya know. Whether we admit it or not, life is happening and it often happens not as we had planned, or purposed.

My days have been filled with doctor's appointments. Checking for this and for that, but never coming to any conclusion as my husband said just the other day.

On Saturday, Feb. 18, I was in two emergency rooms. After having a nose bleed that they couldn't stop or bring under some sort of control, the first doctor had me go to a larger hospital downtown. There, a very nice dr., an ENT specialist, was able to stem the flood of blood, and after seven hours of bleeding and 9 hours in hospital emergency rooms, my husband was able to bring me home.

Whew! We were both bone tired. Neither of us had eaten a thing all day. And, my blood pressure was up most likely due to the stress of the day and because I hadn't taken any medication.

I have been on blood thinners since early November. Seems there's a blood clot in the right Iliac artery and it could be serious. The vascular dr. wanted me on blood thinners in hopes it would decrease the clot. Not so.  The follow-up visit in January showed the clot is right where it's been since August of 2011.  So the decision was made to put me on blood thinners.

Since I already take a full aspirin each day, the addition of blood thinners make life .... ummm...
interesting. I don't dare get cut and I have to be careful with bruising and bleeding. Hence the fear when the nose bleed started.  I will see another ENT specialist tomorrow and depending on his diagnosis, I may have the stent procedure that was originally scheduled for Thurs., Feb. 23.  The vascular dr. determined that a stent was the best thing for me.

In the meantime, I was taken off Coumadin, and put on Lovenox injections. Two per day. They hurt. And they leave very bad bruising. And nodules within the bruises. That all makes for one very sore stomach, which is the place the injections have to go.

Oh, I've forgotten to mention that I spent the week of Thanksgiving, 2011, in the hospital also! But that was 8 days that proved a bit successful. The doctors finally determined was is wrong with my feet. I have thought for years that it was neuropathy and the pain that comes with that. Turns out, it is a condition called Erythomalalgia, which is secondary to the Myeloproliferative Blood Disorder that I have.  After years, there is finally a name. And it took the determination of one lady doctor, a very pretty Muslim doctor, to find out what that name is. Bless her Lord!

She told me, along with confirmation from other doctors, that I will always have pain. There is nothing that can be done except to lessen that pain with the help of plain old aspirin! It took a weight off of me just knowing what is really wrong with me.

So, here I am. Feeling once again as though I'm in limbo. Waiting for a procedure that will help the clot and get me off these injections. Waiting for the okay from the ENT that there is nothing seriously wrong so that procedure can be done.

And, in the meantime, I've learned not to panic when I cough up blood. That is normal for me because I also have Bronchiectasis and that condition affects my lungs and that makes me at times, cough up blood.

Oh friends! Don't take your health for granted. I have come to understand that one or more of these conditions will help me transfer from this life to the next and I have no idea when that might be. The way I feel some days, it could be very close. But then, I rally a bit and things are okay again. Or as okay as they can be.

I've come to realize that a new normal is something I've heard about, but never given much thought to. Until it happened to me.  I am now living in the new normal of my life. At times I will grieve because of the things I can no longer do, things I no longer have a desire to do. But that's part of this process. Saying good-bye to things that I once held dear.

I'm learning to grasp with both hands the things that do matter! My Jesus! What a blessed thing it is to know that my Jesus loves ME. That I not only know Him, but that He knows me.

As each day closes, I tell Him how much I love Him and I praise Him for He alone is worthy to be praised. And I give Him my life, my soul as I go to sleep each night. May I bring glory to Him, either by living or by dying. Amen. So be it.

I thank you for reading this. There is much more I could write, but this is enough for now.

May our Lord Jesus Christ be ALL to you!

Blessings my dear friends.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Asking Jesus Into Your Hearts

I just read this on Reformed Thoughts and wanted to share with my friends...your comments are welcomed.


Ask Jesus Into Your Heart. Huh?

The music weeps, the preacher pleads, “Give your heart to Jesus. You have a God shaped hole in your heart and only Jesus can fill it.” Dozens, hundreds or thousands of people who want to get their spiritual life on track make their way to the altar. They ask Jesus into their heart. Cut to three months later. Nobody has seen our new convert in church. The follow up committee calls him and encourages him to attend a Bible study, but to no avail. We label him a backslider and get ready for the next outreach event.

Our beloved child lies in her snuggly warm bed and says, “Yes, Daddy. I want to ask Jesus into my heart.” You lead her in “the prayer” and hope that it sticks. You spend the next ten years questioning if she really, really meant it. Puberty hits and the answer reveals itself. She backslides. We spend the next ten years praying that she will come to her senses.

Telling someone to ask Jesus into their hearts has a very typical result, backsliding. The Bible says that a person who is soundly saved puts his hand to the plow and does not look back because he is fit for service. In other words, a true convert cannot backslide. If a person backslides, he never slid forward in the first place. If any man is in Christ, he is a new creation. (2nd Corinthians 5) No backsliding there.

Brace yourself for this one: with very few if any exceptions, anyone who asked Jesus into their hearts to be saved…is not. If you asked Jesus into your heart because you were told that is what you have to do to become a Christian, you were misinformed. If you have ever told someone to ask Jesus into their heart, you have more than likely produced a false convert. Here is why:

10 Reasons Not To “Ask Jesus Into Your Heart”

1. It is not in the Bible.
There is not a single verse that even hints we should say a prayer inviting Jesus into our hearts. Some use Revelations 3:20 to tell us that Jesus is standing at the door of our hearts begging to come in, ”Behold, I stand at the door and knock.” There are two reasons that interpretation is wrong. The context tells us that the door Jesus is knocking on is the door of the church, not the human heart. Jesus is not knocking to enter someone’s heart but to have fellowship with His church. Even if the context didn’t tell us this, we would be forcing a meaning into the text. How do we know it is our heart he is knocking at? Why not our car door? How do we know he isn’t knocking on our foot? To suggest that he is knocking on the door of our heart is superimposing a meaning on the text that simply does not exist. The Bible does not instruct us to ask Jesus into our heart. This alone should resolve the issue, nevertheless, here are nine more reasons.

2. Asking Jesus into your heart is a saying that makes no sense.
What does it mean to ask Jesus into your heart? If I say the right incantation will He somehow enter my heart? Is it literal? Does He reside in the upper or lower ventricle? Is this a metaphysical experience? Is it figurative? If it is, what exactly does it mean? While I am certain that most adults cannot articulate its meaning, I am certain that no child can explain it. Pastor Dennis Rokser reminds us that little children think literally and can easily be confused (or frightened) at the prospect of asking Jesus into their heart.

3. In order to be saved, a man must repent. (Acts 2:38)
Asking Jesus into your heart leaves out the requirement of repentance.

4. In order to be saved, a man must trust in Jesus Christ. (Acts 16:31)
Asking Jesus into your heart leaves out the requirement of faith.

5. The person who wrongly believes they are saved will have a false sense of security.
Millions of people who sincerely, but wrongly, asked Jesus into their hearts think they are saved but struggle to feel secure. They live in doubt and fear because they do not have the Holy Spirit giving them assurance of salvation.

6. The person who asks Jesus into his heart will likely end up inoculated, bitter and backslidden.
Because he did not get saved by reciting a formulaic prayer, he will grow disillusioned with Jesus, the Bible, church and fellow believers. His latter end will be worse than the first.

7. It presents God as a beggar just hoping you will let Him into your busy life.
This presentation of God robs Him of His sovereignty.

8. The cause of Christ is ridiculed.
Visit an atheist web-site and read the pagans who scoff, “How dare those Christians tell us how to live when they get divorced more than we do? Who are they to say homosexuals shouldn’t adopt kids when tens of thousands of orphans don’t get adopted by Christians?” Born again believers adopt kids and don’t get divorced. People who ask Jesus into their hearts do. Jesus gets mocked when false converts give Him a bad name.

9. The cause of evangelism is hindered.
While it is certainly easier to get church members by telling them to ask Jesus into their hearts, try pleading with someone to make today the day of their salvation. Get ready for a painful response. “Why should I become a Christian when I have seen so called Christians act worse than a pagan?” People who ask Jesus into their hearts give pagans an excuse for not repenting.

10. Here is the scary one.
People who have asked Jesus into their hearts, but never repented and put their trust in Christ, will perish on the Day of Judgment. How tragic that millions of people think they are right with God when they are not. How many people who will cry out, “Lord, Lord” on judgment day will be “Christians” who asked Jesus into their hearts?

So, what must one do to be saved?

Repent and trust. (Hebrews 6:1)
The Bible makes it clear that all men must repent and place their trust in Jesus Christ. Every man does have a “God shaped hole in their heart”,but that hole is not contentment, fulfillment and peace. Every man’s heart problem is righteousness. Instead of preaching that Jesus fulfills, we must preach that God judges and Jesus satisfies God’s judgment. If a man will repent and place his trust in Him.
If you are reading this and you asked Jesus into your heart, but never repented and put your trust in Christ, chances are good you had a spiritual buzz for a while, but now you struggle to read your Bible, tithe, attend church and pray. Perhaps you were told you would have contentment, purpose and a better life if you just ask Jesus into your heart. I am sorry, that was a lie. Please take a moment to understand the true Gospel of Jesus Christ.

If you have been preaching that people should ask Jesus into their hearts, I beg you to stop immediately. You will give an account for all the souls you have led astray.